knighton

I've Moved

Aug 18, 2011

You can visit me at http://jknighton.wordpress.com/

See you over there!

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I Doodle (almost) Every Day

Aug 10, 2011

Posted in Doodling | 2 comments

Confession: I Am a Workaholic

Jul 28, 2011

This realization should come as no surprise to me. But it kinda does. When I take time off, I feel guilty for not working. And then I feel guilty for not enjoying some down time while also feeling guilty about not working. It's stupid, really, to feel guilty for feeling guilty. Stupid or crazy.

It's not that I can't rest. I can. But I must force myself. I must actively redirect thoughts as they stray back to work and household chores and the things I should be doing instead. (Note: should is a guilt work. When you find it, kill it. Kill it dead.)

#thatisall

Posted in The Daily Grind | 2 comments

Words To Live By

Jul 23, 2011

Trust to your instincts
If it's safely restrained
Lightning reactions
Must be carefully trained

Heat of the moment
Curse of the young
Spit out your anger
Don't swallow your tongue

Stick it out
Don't swallow the poison
Spit it out
Don't swallow your pride
Stick it out
Don't swallow your anger
Spit it out
Don't swallow the lies

Natural reflex
Pendulum swing
You might be too dizzy
To do the right thing

Trial under fire
Ultimate proof
Moment of crisis
Don't swallow the truth

Each time we bathe our reactions
In artificial light
Each time we alter the focus
To make the wrong moves seem right

You get so used to deception
You make yourself a nervous wreck
You get so used to surrender
Running back to cover your neck


-Rush, Stick It Out

Posted in Delicious Words | 0 comments

Vocabulary Lesson #35: Far Cry

Jul 19, 2011

pariah
wandering
barking
speaking
tidal
fortune
electrical
inherit
current
circuit
whirlwind
faith
horizon
betrayal
circle
planet

Bonus:
change

Posted in Vocabulary Lessons | 0 comments

Time is a Trickster

Jul 12, 2011

Time is a shapeshifter. Sometimes it's a hill, and I have to work three times as hard to go the ten paces I could skip across with no effort were it flat ground. Other times, though (and far too often lately), time is a slide and no matter how I dig in my heels to stop, or at least slow down, gravity plus the tilt of this patch of earth are pushing me, pushing you, faster, always faster, and if we're smart we'll want to pause everything--there's so much to see! so much to miss!--but if we're smarter we'll just forget our feet, pull our knees to our chests, lean back, open our eyes wide, and enjoy the ride. Because, see, it's not that kind of slide at all, it's a landslide--just the other side of that same hill.

-Leah, excerpted from Time is a... at A Girl and a Boy

Posted in Delicious Words | 1 comments

Depression, Work-Life Balance, and Rediscovering Self (or Navel Gazing for the Over-30 Crowd)

Jun 27, 2011

I don't want to get into this too much here, but let me just say that I can tell the state of my mental health by the non-work-related writing I do. (See: this blog and the lack of posting since July 2010) And also by the heart palpitations, anxiety hives, and panic attacks. Crushing chest pain is a sign that something has gone seriously sideways in life.

Anyway, I haven't written anything lately. The past couple months have been busy:

First, we bought a house and moved to New Braunfels. We have two ponds full of goldfish and Koi and a herd of deer who are constantly begging for food. We see all variety of birds - including a Cardinal family who built a nest by the living room window and birthed another generation, hummingbirds everywhere, and roadrunners. We also have scorpions and tarantulas and snakes, oh my!

Then, once we got into the place, My sister-in-law and I repainted my office and decorated it with some lovely dark wood and lots of art. Remind me never to paint a 10'x10' room with 12' ceilings. Ever. Again. What on earth was I thinking? The upside, however, is that the place is everything I wanted in an office - sunny and relaxing and with a beautiful view.

Lately, we've been entertaining just about everyone we know at the house. The month of July is already booked with guests and we're scheduling into August! Apparently, this is The Place To Be. And it makes me so very happy.

In work-related travel news, I've been to Alabama, Georgia, Arkansas, Florida, Ohio (twice), Arizona, and North Carolina. And none of that includes the tornado-related stranding in Dallas or a trip to Houston. And really, that is just the tip of the iceberg of my sales business. Too many places to go and not enough time to do it all.

I'm going to try to get back to a more regular posting schedule, but I can't promise anything. Because I just don't know if I'll have the energy to be anything more than a neglectful writer on my own blog. In the meantime, I've got to figure out where things have gone wrong and set them to rights again.

Posted in The Daily Grind | 4 comments

And Then One Day I Just Got Tired of Talking

Apr 28, 2011

Actually, that happens every day. I'm a salesman; I talk all day long, five (or more) days a week.

But it's not like I don't have anything to say. I actually have a lot to say - I've just been keeping most of it in my little head. Anyway...

Since I last wrote on this little page:

I have kicked some serious ass in my work - until the past month when closing the business has been more difficult than I expected. I've also been to Atlanta, Miami, Los Angeles, Houston, and DC. All in the past month.

Oh, AND I went to New Orleans with my friends Pam, Ellie, and Sarah. And April and Rachel. And new friends Helen Jane and Mir and Christine. And was photographed by Karen.

We decided to buy a new house, and we'll be moving in this Saturday. We are very excited. And also nervous. And excited.

Also, OH MY GOD, everything always happens all at once!

I'll be very happy to see May 1st.

Posted in Adventures in Suburbia, Life on the Road | 0 comments

Wherein I Am Late to the Party, As Usual

Jan 11, 2011

Posted in Reboot 2010 | 3 comments

A (Mostly) Complete List of Jennifer's Irrational Fears

Dec 30, 2010

Ice skating. I know I'll fall down, and I think someone will unintentionally skate over my exposed fingers and cut them off.

Shopping carts behind me. I expect them to ram into the backs of my ankles and render me bloodied and bruised.

Snakes. This is actually a totally rational fear, sorta. It's not rational to fear snakes in glass cages at the zoo.

Barefoot at the airport. Ring worm, bacteria, shards of glass, canine fecal matter, hypodermic needles, and God only knows what else. Actually, this fear makes total sense.

Large crowds. They press in on you, sucking up all the oxygen, and then they touch you - whether intential or not doesn't matter. They bump into you. They yell in your one good ear. They spill their sticky beverage down your favorite dress. And then you have a full blown panic attack and might pass out.

Raw oysters. It's a texture thing. Also, Guillaume-Barre.

A sinkful of dishwater. Gives me a gag reflex every time.

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A Little More Introspection

Dec 22, 2010

Some more thoughts inspired by the www.Reverb10.com prompts:

9. Party. Which social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010?
BlogHer, obviously, leads the list of great parties of the past year - thanks to time spent with friends, visiting a new city, and all that. But I have to confess that my husband and I kept an extremely active social calendar this summer, with something going on almost every weekend from May to October. This year has been fun! And I really hope we continue the trend. Because my anxiety level needs all the fun it can get.

10. Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year and how did it play out?
Well, I think the wisdom started last December when we decided to Reboot in 2010. It's been an entire year of personal evaluation and exploration, but I don't think it stops here. 2011 looks to be as filled with new experiences as 2010 has been, and I can hardly wait to see what the year holds.

13. Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
"I have no idea" is probably the wrong answer here. But I must confess, I feel completely ill-prepared to take the Baptist Wine Club to the next level. Whatever that looks like. This summer I moved that blog to a Wordpress site, which has resulted in more traffic and some attention from wineries and their PR agencies. All of which is wonderful. But I really don't know what to do next. "Build it and they will come" is a great dream, but requires a lot more than just a dream. Any tips?

17. Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year?
This past July, I interviewed for and won a new job. The interview process itself was excruciatingly detailed, and often felt mildly intrusive. Having to reflect on your entire work life from college forward and to critically evaluate your performance at each step - that was hard work. But I learned that I have a strong, determined character, that I'm aggressive and competitive, and that I set higher standards for personal performance than what most others would expect. I am hard on myself. But that only works for a while before you start caving under the weight of your own expectations. I'd like to work on being a little more self-forgiving. I don't know if it's possible, though.

I might post some more Reverb10 responses next week. I'm not sure - they feel increasingly more reflective and I may not be able to bravely share my thoughts. Sigh. We'll see.

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In Which I Reexamine the Past Year. A Little.

Dec 9, 2010

I've been quietly following the responses to the Reverb10.com prompts, and thought I'd add a few of my own:

1. One Word for 2010. One word for 2011.
This year has been about CHANGE more than anything else. It started last December with a commitment to Reboot 2010, and hasn't let up. There's been a new job, of course, but also new hobbies, new travel, more activity, and less rest. I'd like to see 2011 be a peaceful year, and not just meaning less change. I want to cultivate PEACE in my relationships, in my career, in my home.

3. Moment. Describe one moment during which you felt most alive.
Sitting in a restaurant on the Florida coast, on the terrace, looking at the ocean. The moon was rising through pirate clouds and the wind was a caress on my cheek. Palm fronds rustled overhead, and one lonely seagull cried in the night. The smell of hot pizza drifted toward me, as I sipped a glass of red wine. And I stopped mid-motion, overcome with a sense that all was right in the world, that today is a perfect day, everything will be just fine. Peace.

4. Wonder. How did you cultivate a sensor of wonder this hear.
Drum lessons. I feel like a child everytime I sit down at my kit. It's play, but I'm learning a new talent. And I marvel that something as simple as hitting things with sticks can provide so much sheer joy.

8. Beautifully different. Reflect in the things that make you different; you'll find they're what make you beautiful.
I have found this prompt most difficult to answer. Mainly because I've never found myself particularly beautiful. Pretty maybe, but not beautiful. Still, I know what I like about myself. I have a quirky sense of humor that sometimes confuses people, but which makes me laugh. I ask difficult questions, especially about faith, and I really try to work out the answers. I'm skeptical, stubborn, opinionated. I don't think any of these things make me different, but at least they make life interesting. Oh, and I have really pretty green eyes.

You could try a few of the prompts too. They're all listed at www.rerverb10.com/the-prompts/

Have fun.

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I've Been Everywhere, Man

Dec 7, 2010

Yeah, so like two months got away from me. Bet you'd like to know what I've been up to.

I've been to:
North Carolina
Houston, Texas (twice)
South Florida
Atlanta, Georgia
South Carolina
San Diego, California
Dallas, Texas

Plus there was the Thanksgiving trip to Conroe/Willis. And a few days here in lovely Austin.

I am tired. But I'm inspired by the end-of-year writing prompts from www.Reverb10.com. I think I'll share some of my answers over the next three weeks.

Thanks for being patient and not giving up on this weary traveler.

Posted in Life on the Road, The Daily Grind | 1 comments

I Miss My Grandmother

Oct 6, 2010

Had shrimp & grits for dinner tonight, with spicy sausage and fresh tomatoes. Only thing missing was the red-eye gravy and a homemade biscuit.

I really REALLY REALLY miss her.

Posted in Life on the Road | 2 comments

See? Told Ya.

Sep 29, 2010

Posted in Life on the Road, Snapshots | 2 comments

Up, Up and Away

Sep 27, 2010

So, I'm in Cheyenne, Wyoming, by way of Denver, Colorado, today. Some observations:

Massive B.O. should be considered a security risk. I have no idea how a man smelling so obscene would be allowed through security.

There should be a special First Time Flyers section in the airplane where the newbies can congregate to violate all the unspoken in-air rules together.

The Beechcraft 1900D Turboprop is officially the smallest plane I've ever been on. It's unsettling to be able to see clearly out the cockpit windows from the back row. At least it was a short flight.

The Cheyenne airport is officially the smallest airport I've ever entered, and that includes Yakima, Washington, and Bend, Oregon. These little out-of-the-way towns really know how to frighten the tourists.

You can see for miles and miles out here. It makes me nervous.

Posted in Life on the Road, Pet Peeves | 2 comments

And Then Two Weeks Passed

Sep 24, 2010

Best laid plans of mice and saleswomen, and all that jazz. In the past couple of weeks, I've been running up and down the IH-35 corridor as far north as Dallas and Fort Worth and as far south as San Antonio, and a lot of places in between. Needless to say, I've seen a lot of miles in a short period of time.

I've also seen my two college roommates, Julie and Tanja, and had cocktails with friends, Pam and Mandy. And let's talk about all these beautiful, delightful, fascinating women.

Julie and Tanja are two of the people dearest to my heart, having spent some of the most impressionable years of my life in their company. Julie is clever, passionate, and absolutely effervescent. Tanja is thoughtful, determined, and wickedly smart. (Really, you could switch the names around and the descriptions would still apply. They are extraordinary women!) Julie is expecting a son soon, and Tanja is a new mom.

The two of them are more than just a hallmark moment in time to remember fondly; they are part of the fabric of my life, weaving a beautiful pattern on my heart and soul, changing the texture of my little world. I owe them debts of gratitude for kindnesses large and small, and I just love them.

Pam was my roommate at BlogHer this summer and an online friend of several years, and Mandy is a new friend introduced just this week. They are funny, witty, fascinating women, and I hope to spend more time in their company and to get to know them both better. With cocktails.

What's been both surprising and reassuring is the way the conversations with each of these lovely ladies has the tone of just picking up where we last left off - whether that was a month ago or a year ago or for the first time today.

And here is where I make a little confession: I have always yearned for some magical life-long friend. You know what I mean: the girl you met in first grade and stayed friends with forever. You double-dated in high school and were bride's maids in each others weddings. You talk on the phone almost every day, even now. And for me, at least, that's a fantasy, especially given the fact that my sister totally and completely qualifies here. (Note: that's the problem with fantasy. You ignore the blessing in your midst.)

These friends I have now are life-long friends, whether we met nearly 20 years ago or more recently or at birth. What is suddenly more important to me, and I think to most women I know, is that our friendships are deep and real and honest. That we can be exactly who we are with each other, without fear or regret.

I was struck by a part of the conversation with Tanja and Julie. Our lives have taken us separate and interesting places and yet some of the fundamentals (faith, beliefs, values, ethics, and such) have taken similar though sometimes winding paths to bring us again to a new, different common ground. And now, looking at each other, we see those same kindred spirits that drew us together in the first place.

We've changed so much and not at all.

Posted in Girl Stuff, Life on the Road | 1 comments

More Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Sep 11, 2010

So, yeah, I've been traveling. A LOT. And completely not blogging about it. Because by the end of the day and end of the week, I'm just exhausted. And also, there is so much in my business life that I seem to be using up all my words before I have a chance to write.
Anyway . . . excuses, excuses.

So, this past week I was in Northern California - from San Francisco as far north as Arcata. (About which more in a sec.)

In San Francisco we took a few days before the start of the week to celebrate my 37th birthday. (I'll go ahead and admit that I am ambivalent about this birthday. Normally I remind everyone I know for about a month before my day, and then celebrate throughout September. This year, I just don't want to think too much about it. And also, surprisingly, I feel more comfortable in my own skin than I ever thought possible. It's a wonderful feeling, actually. So long as I don't dwell on that late-thirties thing.) Anyway, we stayed at the always lovely Hotel Monaco at Union Square, where the staff are the epitome of genuine hospitality, from the hostess to the housecleaning staff, and everyone in between. Stay here if you ever get the chance. And bring your pets, who are always welcome.

We did a lot of the things we always do when we visit SF, but this time we walked it all - averaging about 5 miles per day and seeing more of the city than one does by car. We walked from Union Square to Chinatown, down to North Beach, and on to Fisherman's Wharf. Another day, we took the car to Golden Gate Park, walked the park, strolled through Haight-Asbury, visited the Conservatory of Flowers, and later hit Ocean Beach. (Note: it is unbelievably easy to get lost in Golden Gate Park. I advise a map.) What we didn't do was load up on souvenirs and stuff. Because we always come back to this fair city and because we just didn't want the bother of lugging it all back through airport security.

Now, I will confess we spent a portion of Labor Day in Napa Valley, hitting a couple wineries. If I had thought ahead, I would have planned more time to visit a few of the Baptist Wine Club preferred vineyards, but instead we just stopped by a few of our long-standing favorites for a couple bottles of things we keep running out of and that we can't get back home. Like Sattui Madeira, which is the perfect after-dinner beverage, in my humble opinion.

Tuesday brought meetings in Arcata, CA, home of Humoldt State University, and which I learned is world famous for it's growth, consumption, and distribution of certain controlled herbs and weeds. Apparently, 1 in 7 citizens of the county grow their own - at least according to the bartender. That probably explains the popularity of a university a couple hundred miles from any major city and lacking decent shopping & dining. It seems the citizenry has other priorities.

It was in Arcata that a dreadlocked couple loaded with luggage entered the elevator and remarked, "we've been driving all day. And you smell good." Odd. And later that evening, a panhandler explained that the snails were out and would I "please take care not to crush them. They're just trying to cross the street." The only possible response: "thanks for the warning. I'll be on the lookout."

Also, there were more dreadlocks in Arcata than I have ever seen at any given time ever, even considering that NY Subway trip and the fact that I live in another, popular college town. There's just no comparison. Arcata wins for dreadlocks.

The rest of the week found me in Redding to visit Simpson University and then on to Berkeley for a trip to the university there. I sorta made a big loop of Northern California, which meant for a lot of driving (about 900 miles in total) and led to a bit of back pain. Still, it was a great weekend for celebrating and a great week for business.

And I'll try to be a more consistent correspondent going forward, even if I'm traveling. Well, especially if I'm traveling. Oh, the things I see and the people I meet along the way!

Posted in Life on the Road | 2 comments

Vocabulary Lesson #34: Caravan

Aug 29, 2010

fire
train
stars
steamliner
caravan
onward
road
shadows
night
young
good
world
chance

Bonus:
gypsy

Posted in Vocabulary Lessons | 0 comments

Mighty Life List #9: Visit New York. {Check}

Aug 24, 2010

You may have noticed from the previous post of snapshots, that part of my travel schedule took me to New York City for BlogHer '10. And I probably could have spent a few lifetimes in that fantastic city.

But first, a big THANK YOU SO MUCH to my fashionable friend, Pam, who absolutely insisted I make this trip, come hell or high water. And, to tell the truth, I would have been lost there without her and our roommate, the inimitable April. Dear lovely ladies, please accept my heartfelt gratitude for allowing this last minute tag-along to enjoy your company, your stories, your laughter, and your friendship. Let's do it again!

And big hugs to Karen, Jessica, Christine, Allison, Amber, Stephanie, Nichelle, Leah, and all the other wonderful women I had the pleasure to meet. Ya'll made my trip so much more than I hoped it could be.

Now I just have to figure out how to get back to New York for a longer trip!

Posted in Mighty Life List | 3 comments