Universal Truths
Sep 19, 2005
If you are using food stamps, you cannot afford acrylic nails and salon pedicures.
If you've been bagging groceries for 14 years, you have no excuse for putting fruit next to raw fish.
It is tacky to flirt with the cashier in the next register while ignoring the patron whose groceries you are scanning.
Only a cad would offer a carry-out to a coed, without offering the same kindness to a mother with three toddlers in tow.
Carrying on a cell phone conversation at the deli annoys the clerk. Don't be surprised when he skips you for the polite gentleman on your left.
Take the one you touch. You should have learned this by now.
Pedestrians have the right of way in a parking lot. Always. It is rude (and dangerous) to cut them off.
Turn signals are your friends. Get to know them.