My Inbox Overfloweth
Dec 16, 2009
Dear Retailers,
Just because it's Christmas (or as I like to think of it the Great American Consumer Extravaganza) you do not have the right to spam me relentlessly EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF EVERY SINGLE GOD-BLESSED DAY with your deals and specials and perfect last-minute gift ideas. I used to like you; now I hate you. HATE. YOU. Because you're harassing me!
So stop harassing me already! You thought that clogging my email box would lead to more sales? Seriously? Well. You're wrong about that little hypothesis. There's not a chance in hell that'll I'll buy what you're selling. If anything, I am now not only less-inclined to patronize your store in future but will probably actively avoid you altogether. Because you suck at advertising, though you're world class at aggravating the hell out of people. At least that's something to be proud of.
I hope Santa brings you switches and coal. Merry Christmas!
You suck,
Jennifer