If you are using food stamps, you cannot afford acrylic nails and salon pedicures.
If you've been bagging groceries for 14 years, you have no excuse for putting fruit next to raw fish.
It is tacky to flirt with the cashier in the next register while ignoring the patron whose groceries you are scanning.
Only a cad would offer a carry-out to a coed, without offering the same kindness to a mother with three toddlers in tow.
Carrying on a cell phone conversation at the deli annoys the clerk. Don't be surprised when he skips you for the polite gentleman on your left.
Take the one you touch. You should have learned this by now.
Pedestrians have the right of way in a parking lot. Always. It is rude (and dangerous) to cut them off.
Turn signals are your friends. Get to know them.
From a cheezy movie, Maid in Manhattan:
"Sometimes we are forced in directions that we ought to have found for ourselves."
So it's only a mediocre film, but this line caught me by surprise.
Several years ago, I was laid off. It caught me by surprise - in fact I could hardly breathe. People I trusted, who I thought were friends, were the very ones who quietly destroyed my world. It was so painful; I still have nightmares about that place and that day. The problem is, I should have seen it coming. The writing had been on the walls a long time, at least six months.
So, I was forced in a direction that I should have found on my own. But, Providence smiled on me.
One of my dearest friends underwent cancer surgery that same fateful day - and she needed me. Not the Jennifer who was overworked and stressed, but the Jennifer who was available and tender-hearted. We spent the next six weeks together, recovering. She helped me update my resume, and I helped her move around the house. We both look back on that time with fondness, because we were each able to love a friend who was wounded. I owe her a debt that I can't repay - she helped my find my way.
To Leanne - I love you and I thank God for that awful day.
Well, other than ear infections and prednisone...
Nasal injections - another story for another day
Curried apples with walnuts - unless you REALLY like curry
The last slice of pizza at the buffet - it was passed over for a reason
Food from a truck - breakfast tacos don't count
Office chair olympics - ass over teakettle anyone?
Driving aggressively - at the go-cart track
Hiccups on a conference call - yes, they are laughing at you
I'm sick - I have an ear infection. I'm exhausted and could collapse.
Except the steriod is making my heart race and keeping me awake.
I want my mommy.
"Please, I won't ever ask again," beamed the little beggar girl.
Miss Hilda* looked down, shaking her head at the ragamuffin. She laughed, but the laughter turned to grumbling, followed by a string of expletives. "Well, there are only 9 days left, why the hell not," she uttered mostly to herself. "Yes, you can have it, but just this once and only because it's the end of the year. Don't expect this next time," and she sent the child on her way.
As she scurried out the door giggling, the little gypsie thought, "Yeah, right."
*names changed to protect the innocent. ;-)
Someone in France read my blog today. I am on cloud nine!
Thanks K!
