In a normal week, I spend 3-4 nights eating alone in hotel restaurants. I don't mind this so much because I usually have an entertaining book to accompany me to dinner. And tonight was no exception. EXCEPT that my fictional friends could not distract me from the loud voice of a stranger in the next booth. Here is what I learned about her:
She's short and stocky with big calves. She has two sons, one of which is applying to college. Her husband of nearly 20 years is a college football coach. She's a 38DD, and she buys all her lingerie at Frederick's of Hollywood. She has a nipple piercing which she got on a night of drunken debauchery with 3 friends. She has had several affairs, and her husband knows about a couple of them. Her parents have always made her feel insecure and self-conscious about her weight. She is constantly compared to her "perfect" sisters. She loves her job, but dislikes most of her colleagues, who all think she's sleeping with someone else from her office. And to top it all off, she was having dinner with a married man (not her husband) who is more than 20 years her senior. And all this information was gleaned from her answers to his questions. Wonder what he was up to.
Needless to say, I didn't get very far in my book. And I had my server rush the ticket, so I could get the heck out of there.
I'm still shocked and appalled by what I overheard. And I wish I hadn't heard any of it. But that loud, grating voice. Gah!
What is this world coming to?!?!?!
Side note: I am having a truly exceptional hair day. It did everything right, even in the wind. Totally makes up for the crazy diner.
I stole this meme from another blog. Because I wanted to. So there.
Six Things You Might Not Know About Me
1) I had an imaginary friend when I was a child. His name was George. He was green. He was six inches tall, and he could fly. We used to play tag. Sometimes he'd sit on my shoulder and whisper in my ear. He got me into a lot of trouble.
2) I drive a Fleet Vehicle (aka Company Car). And I get more rock chips than anyone I know. I don't follow too closely. I don't break the speed laws. Much. I can't explain why this happens to me, and why it happens to me only in this car. Maybe the rocks are throwing themselves at me in an act of worship. Or aggression.
3) I like vampire novels. And sometimes the movies. I like werewolf novels and movies, too, for that matter. I guess I like the supernatural. I like the idea that the things that go bump in the night might be real and living among us. I really like the idea that the monsters could be good OR evil. Just like us humans - who can sometimes be monsters.
4) I've been fasting negativity for the past couple weeks. On the advice of Handsome, who was absolutely right to suggest it. And it has been productive. I've been more positive and upbeat. And Handsome is the obvious benefactor.
5) I punched a boy in kindergarten. Because he tried to kiss me. I used my official bully status to intimidate him until we left elementary school. I also bullied a very sweet girl who sat beside me. Until the third grade. I feel bad about that. About both of them, actually.
6) I'm a Mac. I drank the proverbial kool-aid. And I liked it. I'll never go back to the way I was before I took this job. And it makes me very happy to share my joy with others. And I really want this. And this.
And now, for those individuals that I want to see play along: Leah, Lucy, Katherine, and Jeff or April.
I didn't expect to find her driving the beat-up mini-van in front of me at the stop light. And I didn't expect to see one of her cats peak it's head over the backseat and stare at me. And I really didn't expect to see it dressed in a pink t-shirt with "Cute" written in purple sequins across its back.
And I wished that my cat would willingly wear a cute t-shirt or take a car ride with me.
Me = future crazy cat lady. *sigh*
My dear sister Leah delivered her fifth child, and second daughter, today. I can't wait to meet Little Miss Sofia Grace.
Oh the things I saw today!
I'm in Northern Idaho & Northwestern Washington this week, and it's seriously cold. Although it's been sunny, the temperatures have been low enough to keep the lakes, rivers, and streets (!) frozen.
As I was driving through the countryside today, I saw:
- Entire lakes frozen solid and covered in snow. AND there were people out there ice-fishing. At one point, I saw a couple guys* dragging a sled full of fish across said lake. Later that day, I saw a herd of deer way out in the middle of a different lake - not sure what they found to eat out there.
- A herd of cows in a field covered in snow. Most of these cows were laying down. In the snow! Stupid cows. This is why we eat them.
- Me, skidding on the ice, barely missing two other cars. Praying louding, swearing mildly. Thanking God I didn't hit anyone or slide into a ditch or embankment. I love and hate snow.
- A lot of people who looked like this.
*Had to be men out in the middle of a frozen lake. No woman would willingly do that. Feminist or not.
This week I'm in Spokane, WA, where it is 5 degrees at night, and 20 degrees in the day. The kind of weather where you can't take a deep breath of fresh air because you'll choke on it.
Seriously friggin' cold!
