Time is a shapeshifter. Sometimes it's a hill, and I have to work three times as hard to go the ten paces I could skip across with no effort were it flat ground. Other times, though (and far too often lately), time is a slide and no matter how I dig in my heels to stop, or at least slow down, gravity plus the tilt of this patch of earth are pushing me, pushing you, faster, always faster, and if we're smart we'll want to pause everything--there's so much to see! so much to miss!--but if we're smarter we'll just forget our feet, pull our knees to our chests, lean back, open our eyes wide, and enjoy the ride. Because, see, it's not that kind of slide at all, it's a landslide--just the other side of that same hill.
-Leah, excerpted from Time is a... at A Girl and a Boy
I don't want to get into this too much here, but let me just say that I can tell the state of my mental health by the non-work-related writing I do. (See: this blog and the lack of posting since July 2010) And also by the heart palpitations, anxiety hives, and panic attacks. Crushing chest pain is a sign that something has gone seriously sideways in life.
Anyway, I haven't written anything lately. The past couple months have been busy:
First, we bought a house and moved to New Braunfels. We have two ponds full of goldfish and Koi and a herd of deer who are constantly begging for food. We see all variety of birds - including a Cardinal family who built a nest by the living room window and birthed another generation, hummingbirds everywhere, and roadrunners. We also have scorpions and tarantulas and snakes, oh my!
Then, once we got into the place, My sister-in-law and I repainted my office and decorated it with some lovely dark wood and lots of art. Remind me never to paint a 10'x10' room with 12' ceilings. Ever. Again. What on earth was I thinking? The upside, however, is that the place is everything I wanted in an office - sunny and relaxing and with a beautiful view.
Lately, we've been entertaining just about everyone we know at the house. The month of July is already booked with guests and we're scheduling into August! Apparently, this is The Place To Be. And it makes me so very happy.
In work-related travel news, I've been to Alabama, Georgia, Arkansas, Florida, Ohio (twice), Arizona, and North Carolina. And none of that includes the tornado-related stranding in Dallas or a trip to Houston. And really, that is just the tip of the iceberg of my sales business. Too many places to go and not enough time to do it all.
I'm going to try to get back to a more regular posting schedule, but I can't promise anything. Because I just don't know if I'll have the energy to be anything more than a neglectful writer on my own blog. In the meantime, I've got to figure out where things have gone wrong and set them to rights again.
Actually, that happens every day. I'm a salesman; I talk all day long, five (or more) days a week.
But it's not like I don't have anything to say. I actually have a lot to say - I've just been keeping most of it in my little head. Anyway...
Since I last wrote on this little page:
I have kicked some serious ass in my work - until the past month when closing the business has been more difficult than I expected. I've also been to Atlanta, Miami, Los Angeles, Houston, and DC. All in the past month.
Oh, AND I went to New Orleans with my friends Pam, Ellie, and Sarah. And April and Rachel. And new friends Helen Jane and Mir and Christine. And was photographed by Karen.
We decided to buy a new house, and we'll be moving in this Saturday. We are very excited. And also nervous. And excited.
Also, OH MY GOD, everything always happens all at once!
I'll be very happy to see May 1st.
I'm having a hard time, these days, coming up with anything to write. So, I'll just steal Leah's year-end meme. And I realize we are already 11 days into the new year, but the words, they are eluding me these days. Also, I'm reminded that last year was "Reboot 2010," and I think I managed to do just that. Anyway:
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Attended BlogHer in New York. Visited (a little) New York City. Played drums (badly.)
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I'm not big on resolutions, though I do like to have a word or theme for the year. Last year it was Reboot 2010. This year, Peace. So far, I'm kinda failing on the peace agenda, though I did kick my Diet Coke habit. So there's that.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
One of my college roommates had a little boy, and the other roommate is pregnant and due in February. It's kinda blowing my mind.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year.
5. What countries did you visit?
Just the United States, but I managed to hit an amazing number of those states during the last half of the year. My mind boggles at the travel I've been doing.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
More patience and a thicker skin. I might be waiting a long time for those two virtues.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
8/2/10 was my last day at Apple, after eight years there. And those eight years were something else - from the days when it looked like the company wouldn't survive to, well, the juggernaut it has become. I'm proud to have been a part of it all, proud to have made a difference, and I'll miss it.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Landed a new job after a rather grueling interview experience. If you've ever been Topgraded, you know. And if you haven't been Topgraded, try to avoid it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
The temporary falling-out with my sister. I regret that.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was stricken with the flu during my new hire training week. It was all I could do to remain upright. I'm sure I infected half the company. Sorry, guys.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
The Mini Cooper. SO. MUCH. FUN. TO. DRIVE! And, also, the drum kit. SO. MUCH. FUN. TO. PLAY!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My husband, who put up with my mild depression earlier in the year, who celebrated new hobbies with me, who endured that grueling interview process, and who celebrated with me every step of the way. That man is a keeper.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Pleading the fifth here.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Besides the mortgage? Good food and cheap wine. We made a conscious effort in 2010 to eat more organically and to select naturally raised meat and poultry. It has been worth it.
15. What did you get really excited about?
BlogHer in New York! The Mini Cooper! A red drum kit! A new job!
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Seven Bridges Road by The Eagles. Because we saw them live, and they opened with this song, which they rarely sing but has always been a favorite of mine. I like to believe they sung it just for me.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
--happier or sadder? Happier, considering the near-crippling depression of last winter. But not nearly as happy as I thought I'd be, which is kinda sad.
--thinner or fatter? About the same, actually, though I feel healthier.
--richer or poorer? Richer, by a little. But no amount of income will ever erase that feeling from childhood that money is scarce and we're on the brink of financial ruin. I know it's not true, but it's there in the back of my mind just the same.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Play.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Whine.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Hanging out with our families, including a three-hour midnight karaoke marathon wherein I sang all the songs (and I don't sing in front of people. ever.), an epic nerf-gun battle with my dad, brother, and nephews, the gift of music for my side of the family, and a lovely road trip with my darling husband.
21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Every single day.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
We only get basic cable, because it keeps the cost of our internet service down. But we rented and watched the entire series, My Name Is Earl. Loved it. And I have no idea how we missed it when it was originally on TV. Go figure.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.
24. What was the best book you read?
My favorite books of the year were the Sunday Philosophy Club and 44 Scotland Street series written by Alexander McCall Smith. I loved their gentle humor and irony, and I loved the tenderness of human interaction. They're something special.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
First is my unadulterated joy from learning the drums. I am fascinated at how time flies when I'm playing. And second would have to be Iron Maiden. Don't laugh! Husband has been a fan for years, and I've just never seen the appeal. Then, he found an acoustic, Spanish-guitar version of one of their songs....and suddenly! I got it! I really get their music now. And I like it. So there.
26. What did you want and get?
A drum kit. The Mini Cooper. A new job.
27. What did you want and not get?
I'm pretty spoiled. But I wanted things for my husband. We're working on those now.
27a. What did you not want and not get?
How about "what did you not want and still get?" instead. An allergic reaction to my allergy shots, that's what.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I can't really think of a favorite film for 2010. There's nothing that stands out in my mind - mostly because we only went to the theater maybe twice all year.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 37 in September and spent Labor Day weekend in San Francisco. Seeing the city and visiting my in-laws. It was exactly what I wanted.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Seriously? A lot of satisfying things happened this year, so much so that I'm a little embarrassed by how fortunate I've been. Immeasurably more satisfying? Probably more chocolate truffles.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Mostly jeans and t-shirts, till I got that new job. Now it's conservative suits and heals for work, and jeans and t-shirts for everything else. That's not really a "fashion concept." It's more like the daily uniform. Whatever.
32. What kept you sane?
Husband, drum kit, xanax. In that order. Seriously.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I have an intellectual crush on a world famous drummer. I'm not saying more than that.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
We talked a lot, and passionately, about health care reform and immigration. I have strong opinions about both, which don't necessarily fall into either of the current political ideologies.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I met Pam in person for the first time, though we've been online friends for years. And April, who was a surprise instant friend and BlogHer roomie.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
I feel like I keep learning the same things over and over, which probably means I'm not getting the lesson the first go round. As always: Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not proud. Love is slow to anger. Love endures all things.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
A chance to break from the past / The caravan thunders onward / Stars winking through the canvas hood / On my way at last / In a world where I feel so small / I can’t stop thinking big
