My husband and I are facing some major life-changing decisions. And I am having a very difficult time making the decisions that need to be made. In fact, I am suffering from significant anxiety-induced stomach trouble - and by stomach, I mean more than just my stomach (catch my drift?). It's even worse knowing that we have a couple weeks before we must to finalize the changes.
Here's the really strange part: when praying about it, I get the very distint impression that God is ok with whatever we decide to do. He's not giving any specific direction - nothing that sounds like "do this" or "don't do that." I simply know that whatever we decide, we will be blessed - either way we go, He approves. One would think that this would be freeing, but it leaves me - not confused, more like torn.
I was once advised that when making a major decision between two excellent options - select the best. But, in this situation - there is no clear best. It's a little frustrating, so my anxiety builds. This I know God would not approve of - the worry, doubt, and apprehension.
So tonight, when I got home, I was AGAIN mentally deliberating what to do, and I found myself wondering if there is a third possible option instead of just two. Maybe, we've overlooked something. Perhaps there is a different, and ultimately better, plan than anything we've considered thus far. And how far out of our comfort zone might that take us? So far, the options are based upon known, relatively safe factors, but what if? What if I'm not hearing clear direction because I'm only focused on the lesser choices instead of the dangerous, thrilling, best option. What if I'm missing something?
Well, you know I'll be praying about this and exploring the possiblities - especially since we have to make our will known in about two weeks. In the meantime, this is giving me comfort:
"Use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses." I Timothy 5:23
Found this link from a friend in France:
My pirate name is:
Captain Jenny Rackham
Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.
As expected, Saturday was bright and beautiful, but H-O-T hot! And not a drop of rain within three counties of Austin.
The grocery stores and convenience stores are STILL out of water.
So Austin is acting like Rita's heading this way. I'm am amazed at what I've witnessed.
Last night I was running some errands, picking up a few specialty items that couldn't be purchased at the grocery store. Walking into National Wholesale Club, I was bombarded by insanity. There were no carts to be found. Lines were 20 families deep. The water aisle was adorned with a cardboard sign. "OUT OF WATER"
Out of water? What is this? We're in Austin, for crying out loud! We are 200 MILES from Galveston. 200! What is wrong with these people?
At least traffic has been relatively calm around town, especially since several companies and government offices are taking off Friday. My employer is flying three people out to California tonight - just to make sure our current project gets completed on time.
Here's the only problem with all this preparation. Not only are we considerably inland, we are on the dry side of the storm. We may see a shower (likely not) and some breezes (again, likely not). And still, the whole town has been stripped clean of batteries, canned goods, water, and generators.
I'm guessing that Saturday will bring a few fluffy clouds, pleasant breezes, and the same unseasonal heat we've had all week. And all of this panic will have been for naught. Except at my house - where we haven't panicked and where we have no batteries or bottled water. Take that Rita!
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Post Script: My sister and her family drove over to get out of the way of the storm. They took the back roads, and made the drive in a relatively short 7 hours - as opposed to the 3 hours it would normally have taken. Not bad, all things considered.
If you are using food stamps, you cannot afford acrylic nails and salon pedicures.
If you've been bagging groceries for 14 years, you have no excuse for putting fruit next to raw fish.
It is tacky to flirt with the cashier in the next register while ignoring the patron whose groceries you are scanning.
Only a cad would offer a carry-out to a coed, without offering the same kindness to a mother with three toddlers in tow.
Carrying on a cell phone conversation at the deli annoys the clerk. Don't be surprised when he skips you for the polite gentleman on your left.
Take the one you touch. You should have learned this by now.
Pedestrians have the right of way in a parking lot. Always. It is rude (and dangerous) to cut them off.
Turn signals are your friends. Get to know them.
From a cheezy movie, Maid in Manhattan:
"Sometimes we are forced in directions that we ought to have found for ourselves."
So it's only a mediocre film, but this line caught me by surprise.
Several years ago, I was laid off. It caught me by surprise - in fact I could hardly breathe. People I trusted, who I thought were friends, were the very ones who quietly destroyed my world. It was so painful; I still have nightmares about that place and that day. The problem is, I should have seen it coming. The writing had been on the walls a long time, at least six months.
So, I was forced in a direction that I should have found on my own. But, Providence smiled on me.
One of my dearest friends underwent cancer surgery that same fateful day - and she needed me. Not the Jennifer who was overworked and stressed, but the Jennifer who was available and tender-hearted. We spent the next six weeks together, recovering. She helped me update my resume, and I helped her move around the house. We both look back on that time with fondness, because we were each able to love a friend who was wounded. I owe her a debt that I can't repay - she helped my find my way.
To Leanne - I love you and I thank God for that awful day.
Well, other than ear infections and prednisone...
Nasal injections - another story for another day
Curried apples with walnuts - unless you REALLY like curry
The last slice of pizza at the buffet - it was passed over for a reason
Food from a truck - breakfast tacos don't count
Office chair olympics - ass over teakettle anyone?
Driving aggressively - at the go-cart track
Hiccups on a conference call - yes, they are laughing at you
I'm sick - I have an ear infection. I'm exhausted and could collapse.
Except the steriod is making my heart race and keeping me awake.
I want my mommy.
"Please, I won't ever ask again," beamed the little beggar girl.
Miss Hilda* looked down, shaking her head at the ragamuffin. She laughed, but the laughter turned to grumbling, followed by a string of expletives. "Well, there are only 9 days left, why the hell not," she uttered mostly to herself. "Yes, you can have it, but just this once and only because it's the end of the year. Don't expect this next time," and she sent the child on her way.
As she scurried out the door giggling, the little gypsie thought, "Yeah, right."
*names changed to protect the innocent. ;-)
Someone in France read my blog today. I am on cloud nine!
Thanks K!
I'm supposed to be reading Captivating, by John & Staci Eldredge, for my monthly study group - which meets next week.
Instead, I caught up on all the Jane Austen I missed in high school and college. I've read Price & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, and Emma. All since August 21st!
Needless to say, I've neglected reading a spiritual book in favor of classic literature. I'm sure this says something unfavorable about me, but I'm not sure just what. Something to do with procrastination, maybe?
So we spent a long weekend in Northern California. And it was everything I had hoped. A little of the city, a little of the country, and lots of food. Oh My Goodness!
We went to my second favorite restaurant in the Bay Area (excluding the one that so unfortunately closed). Cafe Amsterdam in Fairfax. It's a groovy little 5-star dive. It's now my favorite restaurant - because the other one closed, of course.
Anyway, I had this amazing Dungeoness Crab lasagna. There are no words.
