knighton

Trixie and the No Good Very Bad Day

Jul 5, 2006

Trixie is a seven year old SDSHF (spayed, domestic short hair, feline) who lives a comfortable life with two humans who usually jump at her slightest command. But not today. Today, her woman-servant's behavior was completely unacceptable. After a day of lazing around the house being petted, the upstart maid wrestled Queen Trixie into a cat carrier and carted her off to the veterinarian. The shock! The horror! The wailing and gnashing of teeth!

Then, poor Trixie was forced to suffer the indignity of a public weighing. Her eyes were like daggers. The next time you step on the scales, woman, I will be watching. I'm not the only one who could stand to lose a pound or two. But it only go worse from there. Some other cat's hired help proceed to take Miss Trixie's temperature. Rectally. With eyes the size of saucers, she squirmed futilely against her restraints, all the while plotting her revenge. Someone will pay for this humiliation, and I'm going to begin by drilling holes into her face with my precision-guided laser stare.

Finally, the examination was completed with not one, but two, injections. Trix would not be disgraced again. Without so much as a whimper, she endured her vaccinations while she plotted her revenge upon that upstart human servant. Upon returning to her castle, the Fiesty Feline gave not one, but two, dirty looks - one for the "Pet Taxi" (limo to hell) and one to the maid (you're fired.) The she streaked upstairs to hide in her room.

But just when she thought it was safe, when things could get no worse, that heavy-handed housekeeper dragged the poor, long-suffering Trixie from her hiding place and plunged her into the BATH! You will pay for this, woman. But the cat didn't make it easy for her captor, no. She squirmed and wriggled and made certain that both of them would be "enjoying" the bath. Revenge! Ha!

But the evening ended in the usual way, with Queen Trixie on her throne being hand-fed her favorite tuna-flavored delicacy, by humble, repentant humans who have now seen the error of their ways and sought forgiveness from their ever-patient kitty monarch.

The end.