There is a special corner of heaven for the tone-deaf. Such enthusiasm and creativity in the lungs of the untalented must indeed be rewarded.
Mind you, I don't mean those deluded Idol contestants - bless their hearts. I'm talking about real musicians with albums and concerts. This leads me to believe that there are more than a few tone-deaf record executives.
Music isn't supposed to cause pain.
In other news: What kind of woman clips her toenails on the front porch in broad daylight? And no, it wasn't me.
Take a moment to click on the link for today's quote of the day. Read the WHOLE thing. It's genius!
Update: Quote and link moved here for posterity:
"Protestants believe the Bible is literal and exactly true in every detail except the description of the Eucharist, while Catholics are not allowed to read the Bible."
-holyoffice, The Medicine Box
Would you buy ice cream from "Scary Larry"?
Not me.
Leah was surprised to learn that "I really, really don't like bananas." And this is probably because she's seen me eat more than a few bananas in my life. Eating bananas should never be confused with liking bananas, however.
It's mostly a texture issue. Well, that and the flavor. I don't mind bananas if they're hiding out in banana bread in very small, undetectable lumps. If they've been mixed in the fruit salad, I'll either avoid the fruit salad or pick around the bananas. And whenever I eat banana pudding, I try to eat the bananas first, and quickly, so I can get the worst over with.
A few times a year, I am forced to buy a bunch of bananas for my own health (they are high in potassium which heals bruises.) But I buy the green ones and eat them quick. Because I really, really don't like bananas!
Part two of Leah's tag-a-thon:
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"High tech marketing strategies in the 1980's. The desired progression..."
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
PowerBook, three (!) phones, notepad & pen, and everything else on my disorganized desk.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Mona Lisa Smile
4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
10:45am
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:46am
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Fan, clock ticking, refrigerator running
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Yesterday evening for a nice long walk
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Email
9. What are you wearing?
Pajamas
10. Did you dream last night?
Ha! When do I not dream? Last night, I was on a flight that was forced to land on an interstate highway. I was watching a poor motorist freaking as we passed him on the left.
11. When did you last laugh?
On my walk last night, at the audiobook I was listening to.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Calendar, reproduced artwork, a clock that is driving me crazy.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
A billboard that said "6+6+06 You have been warned."
14. What do you think of this quiz?
Am I done yet?
15. What is the last film you saw?
Pride & Prejudice or Memoirs of a Geisha - can't remember which I saw last
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A house on the beach.
17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
I really, really don't like bananas.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I'm with Leah here. Stop the killing of unborn children by abortion.
19. Do you like to dance?
Yes! Ballet, Jazz, Modern, especially Modern.
20. George Bush:
Somewhat of a disappointment during his second term.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Leah
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Joseph
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Always.
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate?
Hurry up! The party's already started.
25. 3 people who must also do this quiz in THEIR journal: - Jeff, Leni, and Lucy
My sister tagged me. Twice. In one day!
Well, that's a little more than I can handle, so here is the first one:
Four Nicknames that I have been given:
1. Princess (Dad, and very recently a couple of colleagues at my office - go figure)
2. Jo (Mom)
3. Jif (Friends)
4. Love (Handsome)
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Pride & Prejudice (the A&E mini-series)
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
3. The Princess Bride
4. My Fair Lady
Four places I have lived:
1. Round Rock, Texas
2. Austin, Texas
3. Brownwood, Texas
4. Conroe, Texas
Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Friends
2. Seinfeld
3. Star Trek
4. Ghost Whisperer
Four places I have been on vacation/a trip to:
1. Paris & Montpellier, France
2. South Padre Island, Texas
3. San Francisco & Napa Valley, California
4. Grand Cayman Island
Four websites I visit daily:
1. Are we there yet?
2. Testosterhome
3. Lucy's Island
4. K's Cafe
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Chocolate anything
2. Pan-seared sea scallops in white wine butter sauce
3. Homemade salsa with extra-thin corn chips
4. French fries
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. With Handsome (I'm on a yet another business trip)
2. With Handsome at the beach
3. With Handsome in Paris
4. With Handsome on a cruise
Four things I could NOT live without:
1. Handsome
2. Leah
3. God
4. Chocolate
I was not suprised to find Rush in the lineup, and was thrilled to find a couple pro-life tunes - from the most unexpected places. Take a look at the list - there's something for everyone.
"An invisibility cloak that works just like the one Harry Potter inherited from his father." No joke.
Words fail me. See for yourself:
The Concerto Table
"The really offensive part of The DaVinci Code is that apparently, Jesus’ kids grew up to be French."
-Dave Konig, National Review Online
side note: I'm considering making QOTD a regular feature. What say you, dear readers?
update: The masses (both of you) have spoken. Behold! QOTD has been added to the side bar. I hope you enjoy!
One perfect meal can make up for a month of bad restaurants. For dinner tonight: endive salad with pecans & fuji apples and seared Ahi tuna on basmati-pistachio rice with truffled carrot puree & peppercress. Perfection in every bite.
The spicy peppercress was well-matched with the tender tuna. And it was nice to have a salad served in a vinaigrette that was tangy instead of sweet. The food was unusual and completely satisfying. I cleaned my plate!
I can't wait to return, and should you find yourself in the Bay Area, you deserve a visit to The Basin in Saratoga.
CURMUDGEON n.
a crusty, irascible, cantankerous old person full of stubborn ideas.
This weekend, Handsome and I are visiting family in Northern California. On every visit in the past decade, we have brought good weather with us, but today it's threatening to rain. I am psychically willing it NOT to rain.
be sunny, please be sunny
Anyway, I'm off to enjoy the weekend - and you should, too. Go outside and play!
"The havoc he wreaks...it's deeply inspirational."
Trucker hats and aviator sunglasses are the modern equivalent of that "Miami Vice" look of two decades ago.
Squirrels who race across the street, braving imminent death, are attempting an ancient initiation ritual. Those who get squished are mocked by the other rodents.
Idaho has a larger number of personalized license plates, per-capita, than any other state. This does not mean that the Idahoans are more clever than the citizens of other states. On the contrary.
You cannot pump your own gas in Oregon, and if you try, the station attendant will freak out. And then, he'll mock you.
There is only one thing more pathetic than a mullet. And that's a mullet with a bald spot.
Debating the finer points of Harry Potter with a 5th grader is normal. Debating the finer points of Harry Potter with the School Superintendent is a little weird, but only because the Superintendent is more passionate about the subject.
So, tonight, I am in Lewiston, Idaho - about 3 hours south of last night's dining experience. I asked the clerk at the hotel desk where I could find "a really, really good salad." So she enthusiastically directed me to a locally-owned establishment around the corner. "They have the best salads in town."
Uh huh.
Either I have an extremely high expectation of what constitutes "really good salad" OR this is one very sad little town. I'm willing to bet it's the latter.
At least the ice cream was good.
About a month ago, I had dinner in a highly-recommended restaurant in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. I am again visiting this lovely, scenic area, and having greatly enjoyed my dining experience last time, I returned for more.
That was probably a mistake. I ordered the same dish as last time - because it was delicious and because I'm not that adventurous. Anyway, tonight's meal made me wonder what I was thinking the first time. It wasn't inedible, but it really wasn't very good. In fact, it was not at all what I remembered - it just wasn't good.
How disappointing.
You may recall my amusement with personalized license plates. So it is with great humor I share today's installment:
FLMBYNT
On a red '95 Ford Mustang Convertible.
Yup. That about sums it up.
Learn something new everyday. This is a little motto I try to practice, and today was no exception. Although, I should probably alter it a little to fit the situation: DO something new every day.
Today, I flew from Seattle to Boise in a plane with propellers! Propellers, people!
There was barely room in the overhead compartment for my 2-inch-thick laptop bag. And the seats didn't recline. And I could feel the knees of the person behind me in my lower back the entire trip. Crazy.
And unlike other, longer flights on much larger planes, the air hostess gave me the whole can of soda.
This is the good life.
There is a moment, in every relationship, where the other person becomes real to you. Especially with customers.
You get used to them asking questions. You get used to giving them answers. But, there comes a magic moment, when you see them as real people, and they see you. You find out that you have other things in common outside of classrooms and computers.
At about 5:30 tonight, I had that moment with some of my best customers. We became friends. And the laughter continued through dinner - when I finally saw the truth. They have big dreams and big plans. They are passionate, and they need my help to make it all real.
This is when I really love my job.
On September 10, 2001, I had my worst business trip ever. I flew into DC (!) to meet the CEO of a now-defunct internet security start-up, flush with venture capital. The man showed up to the meeting thirty minutes late in a dirty t-shirt (jelly stains and something that looked like it should have been wiped on the grass), ripped shorts, and sandals, and he smelled. It only got worse from there. I was developing the signs of a nasty cold as the meeting wore on - a fever made me shiver, while coughing and sneezing interrupted his shouting.
The meeting went so poorly that I practically ran (swayed was more like it) from the building, with the VP of Marketing nearly in tears as she followed me to the door. Mr. Chief Executive was unpredictable (sometimes nice and sometimes hateful), and the poor lady had been afraid to warn me. Good times.
When I finally made it to the airport for the flight home, the airline upgraded me to first class. For free. I cried right there at the ticket desk. It was this perfect little blessing - God reminding me that he'd take care of me, especially when I'd lost a huge deal and was feeling ill.
Now, nearly five years later, things have gotten much better. I deal with more stable businesses and kinder customers. And today, I got another sweet reminder of God's love for His kids. My hotel upgraded me to a suite. For free. I have two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, and a full kitchen. This place is bigger than our first apartment.
Thank You for small blessings! Now, can we talk about my meetings tomorrow & Wednesday?
The next three weeks are going to be pretty crazy for me. Today, I travel to Seattle, then back over to Boise on Thursday. Up to Coeur d'Alene next Monday, and then out to California the following Thursday. Six days in California, and then back to Boise for customer presentations. All of this before Memorial Day.
So, fair warning - posting may be a little sketchy, but I'll be in hotels with internet access everywhere I go. What would happen without internet? I'd shrivel up, spasm, and pass out. Can you imagine the deprivation? How did we ever survive without it?
The best news of all, however, is that Handsome is joining me in California for a few days, and we're going to hang out with Dad & Sue. YAY!
I had an awful dream last night that my company updated part of its product line with the ugliest laptops ever created. They were school bus yellow, three inches thick, and made of cheap plastic. Of course they were water-proof and had touch-screens. But YUCK!
This is why I am in sales and not product development. The laptops of my dreams are revolting.
In a bowl, combine canned chicken with chopped celery and chopped grapes. Season to taste with salt, pepper, and tarragon. Add mayonnaise to desired moisture. Mix well.
Spread on wheat bread and top with leaf lettuce. Serve.
I am so glad warm weather is hear; it gives me a reason to make sandwiches.
Beautiful bits of broken bones
Lying on the sand by the sea
Telling no one but the sun
Where they’ve been or who they’ve been
Not knowing how they came to this place
Or where they were before
Not knowing what the waves have done
Lying on the sand by the sea
Ok, so by now, all you kind folks have realized that I have bizarre, often recurrent, dreams. And tonight was no exception. Well, except that there was no gum. (yay!)
Anyway, I left my former employer four years ago. And it wasn't pretty. There was gnashing of teeth, hellfire, AND brimstone. But still, the people who ran the place occassionally pop up in my dreams, often to gloat. But this last dream was far different. There was no gloating - there were apologies.
Perhaps, I'm finally getting to close the book on that insane place and those cruel people. Even if it is only in my dreams.
"It's not a total loss. At least I got something to read in the bathroom."
Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. It's like I'm in a cult. Blah, blah, blah.
But really, our new Mac commercials are funny. See.
I have always found it interesting that certain smells or sounds can take me back to a place in time. I'm certain this must happen to everyone - our senses are tied to so completely to our experiences that they two are inseparable.
Tonight, I had comfort food for dinner. Grilled cheese sandwich (the grown-up variety of aged muenster on whole wheat, not Kraft singles on WonderBread) with vegetable soup. This always reminds me of spending afternoons at my Aunt Shirley's house when I was in Kindergarten.
My cousin and I were morning kids, and our siblings were still too young to be in school, yet. And for lunch everyday, we had Campbell's soup and open-faced grilled cheese sandwiches, and Hawaiian Punch.
Anyway, back to the nostalgia. In the rosy glow of happy afternoons traipsing around the neighborhood, I stumbled across a not-happy memory, which promptly cleared the nostalgic haze. My aunt was not nice to Leah. Not nice at all. And I do not know why.
